I Will Be Right Here
by A Whisper Of Grace
Summary: Short fics and drabbles based on season 4. Will be mostly CS, or from Emma or Killian's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**I've been posting these on tumblr, so I figured I should post them here, too.**

**AN: Emma's thoughts during the end of 4x01.**

**Be Patient (I'm Not So Far Away)**

'So, crisis averted.'

Wiping the lingering bits of snow from her hands, Emma turned toward Killian, huffing a laugh. Apparently he wasn't letting go of his optimism any time soon. 'You want to go home and see what's on Netflix?' she asked.

His grin only widened and although there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, he drew himself up all the same. 'I don't know what that is, but sure,' he said cheerfully and it touched her that despite her trying to put space between them all day (not to mention the snow monster), he still seemed happy at her invitation to spend time with her.

She wished that she hadn't been joking, but she wasn't just making excuses before. There was always _something._ 'Killian, someone created that snowman. This isn't over.'

'It never is. All the more reason to enjoy the quiet moments and right now,' he said, stepping forward to close the distance between them and she couldn't deny the thrill that went through her at the proximity, 'we have a quiet moment.'

'I know,' she said with a smile, which faded as she took a step back, dropping her gaze. 'I just gotta do something.' She looked up at him, part challenging and part curious, with a twinge of nervousness that she didn't let herself show. How many times would it take before she pushed him away too far?

'Fine. Of course. Go ahead.' He took a step back himself, the open expression on his face fading into something more resigned. 'Don't tell me you're not avoiding me anymore, because I'm actually quite perceptive, and this,' he waved his hand between them, 'this is avoiding me.'

'I know, I know,' she said, and she did. Because she was (and he hadn't run away yet, hadn't gotten tired of waiting, was still here looking at her like she was everything _and she hadn't run either)._ 'I am.' The resignation on his face dropped into that searching look that he had when he was seeing straight through her, so she knew there was no point in hiding it. 'I just feel... Right now I just feel too guilty.'

His eyes narrowed. 'Over Regina?' he asked skeptically.

'She lost someone she really cares for because of me,' she said, remembering the wounded look on Regina's face outside the diner, the word _monster_ echoing around the courtyard. She couldn't feel bad for saving an innocent woman's life, but because of her, Regina was losing someone who had made her happy. The idea of... whatever this was with Killian, was starting to sound easier and easier the more he was by her side, but she felt bad for her happiness when someone was hurting because of her.

Killian was watching her, but after a moment he dropped his gaze, gathering his own thoughts. 'No, there's more to this than just Regina, isn't there?' he said, looking back up at her and when he did, there was a hint of a wall coming up, along with a challenge.

Maybe her avoidance of him was getting to him more than she thought. She'd made it perfectly clear in Neverland and then after she'd returned from New York that she was in no place to open herself up to someone again, and she could see in the hard press of his lips and the furrow between his eyes that this was exactly what he thought she was doing. And yes - a part of her was scared to let herself be cared for, to open herself up to _whatever this was_, but...

But he wasn't running away. So neither would she.

Setting her shoulders, she closed the distance between them slowly, deliberately, turning her head to press her mouth against his, her lips barely brushing his before he kissed her firmly, her eyes drifting shut. She only gave herself a moment, just one second of self-indulgence to feel the thrill of _together_, of wanting and of hope, knowing that if she gave herself any longer then there was a very high chance of nothing else being seen to for the rest of the day.

He leaned after her when she pulled away, and she knew the feeling, felt the same need to keep him close. Maybe they could find their moments after all. 'Be patient,' she said with a small smile, licking her lips to taste him again as she stepped back and then turned away in the direction of the town.

Maybe it wasn't all just about Regina. She needed time to rebuild her walls in a way that would let someone inside them, but somehow, she knew that he'd be there for her when she was ready to let him in.

'I've all the time in the world,' she heard him say from behind her, and her lips tugged up into a smile. 'Unless another monster appears and kills me,' he added, and she pressed her lips together, rolling her eyes even though he couldn't see them.

His footsteps in the leaves told her that he was following after her, and she slowed her pace to let him catch up, sneaking a glance at him after a few minutes of walking in silence. He looked just like she felt.

Cautiously happy.

_We'll find more moments,_ she promised him silently.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: ****Emma and Killian share a moment while she warms up. Set at the end of 4x02.**

Offering Henry a weak smile of gratitude as he handed her the mug and then returned to the kitchen, Emma wrapped both hands around it carefully, letting the warmth soak into her skin from the hot ceramic, the blankets engulfing her, the small, noisy, portable heater at her feet. But the thing that was truly warming her on a deeper level was the man sitting beside her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders and his gaze ever on her.

He was warming her from the inside out and it _hurt_, the ache in her heart when she looked at him and saw the way that he looked at _her._

Killian hadn't relaxed since he and David had pulled her out of the ice cave; the furrow of his brow barely lessening now that she was safe, the concern and anxiety in his eyes scorching through her and making her want to do anything to ease his worry.

His arm left her shoulders, the backs of his fingers touching her cheek before returning around her, his frown growing deeper. 'You're still freezing, love. Your drink will warm you.'

Giving him a long look, she nodded after a moment and raised the hot chocolate to her lips, closing her eyes momentarily to enjoy the warm, sweet liquid as it went down. It wasn't until she felt the press against her shoulder that she realized that she'd leaned into him, but she certainly wasn't going to pull back, and by the way his arm tightened around her, he didn't seem to mind. Was it an unconscious movement like hers, an instinctual need to be _close_, or was it a badly veiled desperation to keep her as near as possible while he could?

She wouldn't have blamed him if it were the later. She'd heard the stricken tone in his voice through the walkie talkie, and when she's escaped the icy cave. He'd thought she was dying - hell, _she'd_ thought she was dying - and it was enough to make her emotions go haywire.

One thing was clear, though. Leaning forward to place the mug on the ground at her feet, she settled back and wrapped her hand around his arm just above his brace, reaching up with her other hand to thread their fingers together again on her shoulder. 'Thank you, Killian,' she said, her voice quiet, as she rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

There was a moment of silence as they sat there together, his fingers tightening around hers, his cheek rubbing against the top of her head. 'I'm afraid I didn't do much,' he murmured eventually. 'It was Elsa who helped you out.'

She understood the helplessness in his voice all too well. He thought he'd been useless; she actually had been. Trapped in ice with magic, but unable to use it. But that was one of the things that she wasn't going to dwell on now. Letting go of his arm, she reached up instead, her hand trailing over his chest, brushing against his jaw before curling around the back of his neck. Pulling his head down gently, her cheek resting against his, drawing in as much of his warmth as she could. 'You didn't stop looking for a way to get me out. David said you went to Gold -'

'It's not important, love,' he said quietly, a different kind of strain in his voice, a different kind of tension in his shoulders.

She held on tighter, pressing her face against his neck and breathing him in. 'It is important. So - thank you.'

He gathered her in, shifting the blankets around her to make sure she was still covered, and although it was still a little overwhelming, she couldn't help but feel through every inch of her just how much she cared for him.

'Killian?' She pulled back just enough that she could see his face. His eyes were still tight with concern, but he raised an enquiring eyebrow at her obligingly. 'When I... defrost... can we go on that date?'

His lips twitching into a smile, he reached up to brush her hair away from her face. 'You don't have to convince me, love.' His fingers lingered on her cheek before they fell away. 'Unless another crisis becomes the guest of honour.'

Even though the sound came out weak, she couldn't help but laugh. 'I can't promise anything. This is Storybrooke, after all.'

His answering chuckle was just as quiet, and a touch more pained. 'Aye, well. As long as you're there. And in one piece.'

How could one man put so much emotion into one look? Swallowing hard, her hand found his, and squeezed it reassuringly. 'I'll do my best. But I'll be there.'


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Emma asking Killian on the date in 4x04. Written before the episode.**

_This is so stupid._

Forcing herself to unclench her fists, Emma turned sharply and headed back toward the diner, only to walk right past the entrance again.

_So incredibly, incredibly stupid._

Ever since Killian had made those jokes about their dates (snow monsters and ice walls, ha), the possibility of a proper one had been hanging around the back of her mind. Even then, it hadn't been something that she'd considered necessary or _them_, until she'd been about two seconds from seeing a whole heap of stalagmites (_stalactites? _she never could remember which was which) fall onto his head.

He claimed that he was good at surviving. The fact that he was a three hundred year old pirate proved that fact, but it had been a long time since she'd opened up to anybody, and every day only made her want to bring him a little bit closer inside her walls.

Those walls were pretty well fortified, mind you, and that was half of the reason why she was pacing out the front of Granny's like an idiot.

Her year in New York might have given her a tiny bit of dating practice, but even then, she'd been in a relationship with Walsh for most of that. And this was different. This was Killian Jones, who crossed realms to find her, who gave up his ship and his home for her, who followed her through time. This was... more.

She knew that it was more than time for her to make a move in return, but if she did and it didn't work out...

It wasn't that she doubted his feelings for her, or even that she was afraid he'd be scared off by the real her. He saw past her walls and masks better than anyone had before. And she was doing a pretty good job at convincing herself that he wasn't about to up and leave her of his own will - he'd proved that he was going to stick around. His words last night had been more than just a reassurance; the way he'd spoken them had been a promise. _"My love, you don't have to worry about me. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving."_

Now all she had to deal with was not freaking out about the depth of her own feelings. Which she was getting better at, to be fair, now that she regularly had people in her life to care about, but it had been a long time since she'd cared about somebody this much.

Small steps were what she needed, to balance out the rest. Like, going on an actual date.

Or even, _asking_ him on an actual date. Which was only going to happen if she sucked it up and went inside.

Groaning aloud in frustration, she gave herself a shake and walked up to the door just slowly enough not to look weird (weirder), but managed to show enough piece of mind to open and close the door quietly so as not to draw attention to herself.

When she turned back from the door, it was to find Killian's eyes already on her, his attention apparently drawn to the sound of the bell. He stood at the far end of the counter near Ruby, one elbow leaning casually against the surface, his hand raising a coffee mug to his lips. He smiled at her over the edge of the mug, and there was a new warmth to it that went straight through her. It had started in his softened expression when she'd told him that he was a person that she couldn't lose, and it hadn't really left.

And this was precisely why she had to do this. She had to show him that she cared, too. That she was trying, too.

Crossing the room quickly, she nodded to Ruby and was grateful when the woman turned away with a smile to give them some privacy. Not that distance would stop the wolf, but still.

Killian set his mug down on the counter, returning his smiling eyes to her, and there was a new depth to it now, a new understanding in them since she'd blurted out last night that she wasn't prepared to lose him. 'Good mor-'

'I'm here to ask you out,' she said, the words rushing out of her before she could give herself time to think them through anymore. He just blinked at her, but despite his lack of response, she felt like a knot had loosened in her stomach and smiled tentatively at him. 'On a date,' she added.

His eyebrow raised quickly, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. 'Is there a crisis that I'm unaware of?' he asked. 'Another snow monster? Or has someone else turned into an icicle? I have to say, there's a few of the dwarfs that I wouldn't miss.'

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't ignore the warmth that went through her from the way she could see his genuine happiness behind the humour. 'There's no crisis. That I know of, anyway,' she added quickly, then shook her head to clear it. 'I mean dinner. Tonight. Just you and me, and... dinner.'

'Dinner,' he said slowly. 'And champagne?'

'And champagne,' she agreed. 'You can pick me up at seven.'

Her task completed, she turned to go, taking the coffee in Ruby's outstretched hand and ignoring the knowing look on her face, but couldn't keep the smile off of hers for the rest of the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: 4x07 drabble. Emma's thoughts as she watches over Storybrooke. Contains spoilers for 4x08.**

**Monster**

Due to the lack of downtime in her life recently - or since she'd first come to Storybrooke, really - Emma had only been up to the lookout once or twice, and she was pretty sure that she hadn't mentioned the spot to anyone else. That, and the fact that it was close enough to the town line for almost anyone to avoid it, was why she had ended up there.

Not so long ago, there were other places that she would have run to. The loft, Granny's, the docks; each of these places had their usual pros and cons. But now, along with them would come looks of concern, of regret, of caution.

And fear.

It had been a long time since she'd cared about anybody enough to care what they thought of her - or to admit to caring, anyway. She couldn't deny, and didn't want to, how much she loved her parents and Henry, their strange little family together despite all odds. And she _knew_ that they loved her too, more than she could have ever hoped for.

Apparently not enough to stop them from being afraid of her.

But she could hardly blame them now, could she?

She was, after all, a monster.

Before today, she'd thought that she'd felt pretty much every way that she could about her magic. She'd been scared of it, frustrated with it (both having it and the lack of it, at times), even proud of it.

Her lack of skill had made her a liability, and her instincts had made her powerful.

Today she had been dangerous, and to the people that she cared about the most.

She stared out at the town, feeling nothing but a cold detachment as the lights started to swim before her unseeing eyes. Normally, it was a sight that filled her with warmth, with hope and joy and love. She'd finally embraced this mystical little town as _home_, the first one that she'd had since - _New York, Tallahassee, some unnamed foster home_ - but none of those homes were real, not like this.

And now she couldn't see the beauty here anymore, because she couldn't erase the image of her mother's eyes filled with fear and shock, while she looked at_ her_.

The sound of David's groans, in pain because of _her._

The thought of how close that light pole had come to falling on Killian because he was too close to _her._

_God, if something had happened to Henry because of what she was..._

She couldn't breathe.

_"All it takes is one tiny mistake, one accident, and you and your powers go from being their salvation to their worst nightmare... I don't have to know you, Emma. I've been you. Different. Misunderstood. Alone... You can't love somebody that you don't understand..._

_All I did was show you who you really are."_

She couldn't be... that. But what if she didn't have a choice? What if that was who she really was?

_Monster._

Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Emma set her jaw in determination, ignoring the heaviness that still settled in her chest. There was one thing that she could do. One person who would be able to make it right. To take it all away. Rumpelstiltskin.

In the morning, she would find him, and she would make him find a way to take her magic away.


End file.
